Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Apparently David Beckham looks like a pale, out of shape Irishman

Because I've been told at least 6 times now "you face look like David Beckham"
Makes me feel sorry for Posh Spice.

Monday, February 16, 2015

This is what your lady looks like

when she gets published for the first time.
Congrats travel writer!

Sunday, February 15, 2015

Goodnight sweet chicken.

The knife was dull. Much duller than the knife I would give someone who wanted to slit my throat. But here I was, sawing back and forth across this tiny chicken's neck. Hoping to break the skin. Hoping this all would be over soon. His chicken eye staring at me the whole time, as if to say "just get it over with pal".

Then it happened. The tiniest prick. On the 4th try. Blood spewing forth. Dark red. The chicken was now dinner. I was a murderer.

I'd be lying if I said I ever thought I'd kill a chicken and eat it. Just never thought there would come a time or place where that would be necessary. I get my chicken at El Pollo Loco. They do it for me.

But having done it, in the rain soaked jungles of Vietnam, I have to say I feel as though I just completed a necessary human task. I feel kind of alive. In touch with the world around me. Maybe its a primal feeling, but it kind of feels good.

After all I've eaten 100's of chickens and cows and seahorses in my life, and never once had to extend myself anymore than pointing at their names on a menu. For the first time in my life I was part of the whole circle of life thing.

So was it good? Let's just say I appreciate the sacrifice my chicken made…and had I known he'd be so tough and chewy he might still be alive.

Thursday, February 12, 2015

A kayak pirate looks at 40

Today Ryan and I kayaked across Ha Long Bay to the island he wished we stayed on. Not that our island was bad. It just wasn't filled with 20 something girls in bikinis and 20 something bros with dicks drawn on their backs. Apparently Ryan is really into one of these two things. Maybe both. Who knows.

Our heads filled with visions of plunder, naked jello shots, and all out debauchery we docked our banana yellow kayaks on Ass Island only to realize we forgot our wallets. Fucking morons.

After an awkward walk around the premises and a quick game of pool, we took to the beach and watched as all the bikinis and marker cocks boarded the daily booze cruise and set off into the bay. Leaving us alone. And broke. On Asshole island.

Yellow lights and plastic chairs

There's something special about eating on the street. Something familiar, that I had forgotten about until tonight. The feel of a tiny plastic chair against your ass. A beer sweating on an even tinier table in front of you. The warm glow of street lights, bathing everything in a golden soup. The feel of the dirt and shit under neath your sandals. The smiles on the faces of strangers. The exhaust from passing scooters mixing with the intoxicating smell emanating from a nearby grill. The way your shirt sticks to your back.

It's all so specific. The smells. The feeling of the air. The way the food tastes. It's better. Much better than any over priced restaurant. Give me a crowded street corner any day. When it's crowded you know it's good.

This is Hanoi. This is traveling.

Friday, January 9, 2015

Last couple of months in a nutshell

I don't want to write this blog anymore, but I know future me will be pissed if I stop documenting our travels so here are the cliff notes from the last month or so…

Morocco was a mixed bag. I hated Tangier and liked Marakesh. Chefchaouen was cool and blue. Our over night trip to the desert was over nighty and deserty. And we rode a bus that was filled with people puking their guts out.

Lisbon was amazing. I loved it. Every fucking square inch of that city. I want to move there.

Christmas in the Keys was great. Awesome to see everyone. Snorkeling. Alligator swamp boat rides. Cuban cigars. Taylor Swift. South Beach hostels. The Square Grouper. Batting Cages. Good times.

Phoenix was relaxing as always. Golf and a lot of chilling. Always welcomed.

Off to LA and then back on the road. Vietnam is only a week or so away.

Sunday, December 14, 2014

Overnight in the Sahara

By my count I've ridden a camel 3 times in my life. The first two times were in Egypt. Once around the pyramids (and the KFC adjacent to the pyramids), and then for a "night in the desert", which actually turned into a ride in the rain and a night in a nearby village due to said rain. The third was yesterday.

I was excited for #3. This was the real deal. We were headed into the Sahara. In the middle of no where. To sleep in the desert. Scorpions, desert pirates and all.

First thing you notice when you head out of town is that the desert is quiet. I mean really really quiet. The kind of silence that actually hurts your ears. You can hear your heart beating, the blood moving through your veins. Your ears ring a bit. It's quiet.

The second thing you notice is that it's really still. The clouds sweep over head, but the sand below and all around you doesn't move. The landscape is frozen, like your moving through a painting.

The third thing you notice is that camels puke up their stomaches to attract other camels. It's pretty gross and mine did it a lot. The inflated sack hangs out of their mouth while they make a gurgling sound that supposedly drives the ladies crazy. Yeah girl.

The ride took about 2 hours. Eventually we made our way to a collection of Berber tents set up in a tiny row at the base of a large sand dune. Our camp was the furthest to the right. We drank mint tea, ate a pretty good chicken tajine, climbed up the nearby sand dune to watch the sunset and then spent the night under a full moon so bright it seemed as if the sun still remained in the sky. We played the drums with our guide, spent the night experimenting with night photography, and listened to some podcasts by candle light.

In the morning we hurried back up the sand dune and were treated to an amazing sun rise. After that we hopped back on our stomach puking camels and set off for home.

All in all a pretty perfect night out in the desert.