Monday, November 17, 2014

Earth versus Uranus

I've said it before and I'll say it again, my favorite thing about traveling is the perspective you gain. Whether it's perspective on food, freedom, poverty, religion, violence, politics, or the general hygienic state of toilets around the world, perspective is amazing.

At the top of the perspective list for me is how I now view the planet we live on versus how I did before I traveled. I used to never really think about it. I mean, yeah sure Earth is pretty cool. It's got dolphins and cotton candy and wifi. I think very few of us stop to think about how amazing it really is, cotton candy aside.

Pardon me while I step up on my soap box for a second… a one, a two, a three….

The earth is amazing. Think of it in comparison to all the other planets that surround it. Every other planet is total shit. No trees. No rivers. No mountains. No blue skies. No birds. No kittens. No rainbows. Nothing. They all have nothing. We are the ONLY planet in our solar system, that isn't a rocky, cold, empty hell hole. The drastic difference between Earth and everything else blows my mind. It's not like there are planets that are kind of like Earth, where dogs have cat heads and rain comes up from the ground. Nothing is like it, and I think we really take that for granted.

Yes terrible things happen on this planet (99% of which are caused by us, not the planet), but overall if you take a second to walk outside and look at the sky, think about how old trees are, watch the clouds float by, your mind should explode, it's miracle that any of it is even here.

In my opinion being present and appreciating it all is the single most important thing I can do each day. Take it all in. Stop. Look. Feel. Breathe. Because every single thing I see with my eyes is a miracle. I've touched Egyptian pyramids, climbed up mountains that are millions of years old, swam in countless oceans ranging from freezing to pretty darn nice, smelled the cleanest air I've ever smelled in New Zealand, sat under the stars in the middle of the Bolivian desert, the list goes on and on. Each time I'm completely floored that any of it exists. And there's tons of it to see. All you have to do is go outside and look around.

I love picturing this little ball, with all these people, and all these beautiful things floating in the galaxy. Pretty amazing stuff when you stop and experience it.




This hostel makes no sense, and it's amazing!

When skate park surf hostel meets 18th century elegance this is what happens.
Mona Surf Hostel


The hostel where your toilets are plated in gold.


Your floors and bidets are made of marble.


Your in door pool looks like it is from the Shinning.


And your ramps, rails, and other skate stuff are totally tubular.







Friday, November 14, 2014

Don't ever let a bed bug bite your nipple.

Trust me on this one. It will ruin your life for the next 2 weeks.
ITCHY NIPPLE!!!!!!



When wine is cheaper than water you drink ALOT of it.

Wine with breakfast?
Wine with lunch?
Wine with wine?
Sure! Wine not?! Get it??!?!?!?!? HAHAHAHAHA wordplay.

You read that right folks. Spain knows what's up. Buy a glass of wine get a tapa. Buy the menu del dia, you can get a tiny water or an ENTIRE BOTTLE OF WINE. Go to the local grocery store, wine is $2.

At first when I realized that wine was actually cheaper than water I thought I was drunk, then I realized I was drunk, and that it is cheaper!!!

VIA LA ESPA√ĎA! Good luck liver, you don't stand a chance.



Thursday, November 13, 2014

See Mom I was right! Or maybe you were. It's debatable.

Here's a european fashion tip. Yellow mustard everything is back…with a vengeance.

Funny thing is, one time in my life I owned a pair of mustard yellow jeans…that got me kicked out of chemistry class because they were so fucking hideous my chemistry teacher couldn't attempt to teach a class whilst looking at them.

A little background.

I was a dumb kid. An even dumber teenager. I was and am still very impressionable. At or around 1990 my hero was Parker Lewis. Fox had just recently become a channel and one of the first shows they rolled out on their fledgling network was Parker Lewis Can't Lose. A total rip off of Ferris Beuller's Day Off, but amazing never the less. Besides Parker's couldn't give a fuck attitude and his god like hair,  I was mesmerized by his fashion sense. All sorts of silk shirts. Crazy pattern and colored jeans. He was the embodiment of 90's fashion and I wanted to be just like him.



So on my something or other birthday I asked my mom, neigh demanded that she take me to the local Chess King and buy me his entire wardrobe. I was pumped. Or amped. Or whatever kids were saying at the time. Upon entering this bastion of fashion, I found the outfit I had to have. A white silk shirt adorned with multi colored polka dots, and mustard yellow jeans. Hell yes. This outfit was the tits. Or the flap jacks. This was the outfit that would vault me to the top of the social circle of my peers. 

My mother wasn't buying it. Literally. I think her words were, "I am not buying that. It is awful." Of course I responded with the timeless response "Whatever Mom you just don't get it." After minutes of begging, she caved and bought the outfit. I think her parting words were "it's your funeral."

Fast forward to unveiling day. It was early in the semester. Time to bust out all the awesome clothes you bought during break. I slid on my mustard yellow pants while blasting 95 South. Buttoned my silk polka dotted shirt (shit felt fancy). Clipped on my gold necklace showcasing a gold marijuana leaf, and my Nikes. I was ready to fucking kill this day. Side note: At the time, I was attending the most prestigious boarding school in the country. This was the land of the Guggenheims, the Bunns, lacrosse, Black Crows, and Huey Lewis. This was not the land of Mustard colored jeans.

I walked to class, strike that I pimp walked to class. I felt awesome. I WAS PARKER LEWIS! AND I COULDN'T LOSE! That was until I walked into chemistry class.

I sat in the front of the class cause you know that's where geniuses sit, and was promptly told to go home and change. I can remember my Nigerian teacher saying something to the effect of, "I can not teach this class with you looking like that. Go home and change."

So I did. Absolutely gutted. Stupid yellow jeans. My mom was right, they'll never catch on.

Until 2014 when every single person on the street is wearing mustard yellow. Hot dog vendors. Bus drivers. Homeless Hipsters. Bankers. Asian tourists. Everyone!!!!!!





Friday, November 7, 2014

The prettiest city in the world in 3+ pics

San Sebastian may be prettier than Paris.
There I said it.
The beaches. The food. The quaint little streets. The people. The vibe. And the best Gin and Tonics I've ever had. All add up to a pretty spectacular place.
I was in love the second we set foot on the spotlessly clean sidewalks. My mind melted when we strolled along one of two beaches, while classical music floated over our heads (the city has speakers surrounding the beach which they use to set the mood for beach goers.) I felt like I was in a movie. Everything more perfect than the next. Look at that dog frolicking in the waves. Look at that old fat man in a speedo. Look at that topless woman. And that one! Ohh no not that onE…yuck.
Then the food. Tapas everywhere, which here they call pinchos. Every bar top lined with bite sized deliciousness. Walk in, they hand you a plate and you goto work. It's like a better version of Soup Plantation, more European.
Bascially you eat, drink, walk around, look at beautiful stuff, goto the beach, eat some more, drink a lot more, and so forth and so on.
As if that wasn't enough there's an amazing castle over looking the city with a pretty impressive statue of Jesus and 360 degree views of the city, an amazing lighthouse in the middle of the bay, and more BEAUTY! It's just so god damned beautiful!!!!!!!!
For more beauty and pictures of beautiful things click this beautiful link.



Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Montserrat Spain in 3+ pics.

Jesus. OMG. and holy crap.
The closest you can come to heaven without getting hit by a bus.
For pics of one of the prettiest (and most spiritual) darn place I've ever been click here.