Nov 19 2010

I'm a bad parent. This is what happens when you leave your Jack attena ball unattended. Killer birds descend from the heavens and make him their lunch.

Sorry Jack.

Nov 19 2010

I feel like I'm on another planet. Or maybe I'm dead. Or maybe I ate a really strong mushroom on one of our walks through the forest. It has to be something, because there is no way that these places I'm visiting exist. There's no way this is the same planet that shares space with New Jersey. No freaking way. My mind has packed up it's bags and said 'Ill see you when you get back to reality'. My eyes explode every 3 seconds. I've never felt more alive in my life.

This place is insane. There are no words to describe how beautiful it is, so i'll invent one. Redombulous. This place is absolutely redombulous. I want to throw my camera into one of these gorgeous waterfalls because my camera is an earthly camera and does not come equipped with the magic technology needed to capture these sites as they are. Ive never seen sky so clear. Never seen blues so blue or yellow so yellow. I think Ive probably seen 10 new colors I didn't know existed. The water here is crystal clear...EVERYWHERE. Whether its falling from the sky, a 3000 foot waterfall, or running alongside your campsite in the middle of town. Crystal clear! The hills go on forever and ever and ever. Every rock face looks like it was placed for a specific reason. Theres no way this place happened by accident. I said to Sabrina the other day that 'if god created the earth, he designed New Zealand.' And I believe it. It fills me with this crazy pride Ive never had before for our planet. Seeing it as it is. As it was before we destroyed it. I like to envision this amazing thing flying through the vastness of space. It makes me laugh at the other planets. They completely suck compared to ours. Jupiter's atmosphere will kill you. You'll freeze to death on Saturn, and burn to pieces on Mercury. That blows. Somewhere out there I'm sure theres a planet that has flying cars and ray guns. They can have them, I'll take these magic waterfalls.

Nov 18 2010

Been a few days since I put digital paper to pen, so here's my update for the last few days.

In that time we've seen insane cracks in the earth where ocean water rushes in through a small blow hole and crushes the surrounding rocks below. Insane. It's 300 meters off the beach. It shouldn't exist, I've never seen anything like it before. From bone crushing blow holes we ventured off to a rainforest that had one of the coolest waterfalls we've seen in a while. From there it was more mind blowingly gorgeous fields, beaches, mountains, and sky. This place seriously is the most amazing place I've ever seen.

Picked up our friend Morrison from LA, who has started his own little jaunt around the world. Then headed off to the small town of Invecargil. Went straight for the local microbrewery for a beer tasting. Seriously good stuff. After a few rounds of bowling we headed off for a pretty intereting and somewhat illegal night. Morrison has been sleeping in hostels while usually we park in the parking lot and sleep in the van. After checking into the hostel he realised that 1) he was only one of two people in an eight bed dorm and 2) reception closed after 8pm. Putting 1 and 2 together he figured we could just come into the hostel hangout, and then once reception closed move into his room for the night. Ingenious. After a couple hours of conversation and a few Do Bros to ease our fears of getting caught we decided to be rebels and sleep for free in the hostel! Next up for us grand larceny and kidnapping!!!

Fully refreshed from our illegal night in the hostel we set out for Lake Te Anau. Once again NZ didn't dissapoint. Really small town surrounding a lake with all the needed amenities. We spent half the day being acousted by a senial old man who felt the need to instruct us on where to place our chilly bins (thanks grandpa), what hikes to take and which ones not to (ie do the ones hes done and not the ones he hasnt because he knows everything), how to use this crazy thing called the internet, and other general annoyances. We were having ourselves a nice little drinking and music session until old man river came in and without a word unplugged our charging computer and turned on the tv to watch the news...over or music!!! We were dumbstruck. Some people can be so freaking rude.

We met another traveler from Oregon, but I like to think he was an angel. A weed angel. Not 30 minutes after he met us he GAVE us a huge bag of some of the best weed I've ever had. I thought we had died or that I was making a deal with the devil, trading him this bag of weed for the souls of all the children in Africa. But nope. Just straight up gave it to us. So what did we do in return? Got high as shit and went to see a movie. The movie was shot from a helicopter all over the south land. It shows the area in all its glory. Just mindblowing stuff. Magic waterfalls that dissapear 3000 feet up in the air, cliffs that fall off into raging seas, mountains that seem to pierce the sky, and lots and lots of empty land. Sabrina was moved. Either by the weed or the movie, she proclaimed it to be 10 times better than Planet Earth, and definitly worth buying. So we bought it. Now I just hope we don't run out of our wonder weed by the next time we watch it.

Noc 12 2010

They say age is only a number. They also say you're only as old as you feel. Well after hanging out with the local collegiate population in Dunedin I'll say I'm pushing somewhere around 60. It's amazing how old you can feel when you're standing in a room full of kids nearly half your age.

It's funny for so long I was oblivious to how old I actually am. People would ask me what my age was and I was always wrong. For three years I thought I was 30. It wasn't denial, it's just that I never really thought about it. I didn't feel any different then I did when I was 13. I swear. I still laughed at the thought of me being responsible for another life form, be it a plant, dog, or child. I still felt like I could out drink anyone, until my hangovers kept me one step from the emergency room for the three days after.

That was how it was. Now...its starting to get a little different.

The thought of actually starting your night at 11pm is as foreign to me as walking on the moon. I think kids are super human that can do that. Me I need to be in bed by 11pm or be on some seriously hard drugs to make it past 11:30.

Most people are really annoying in bars. They're loud. They aren't funny. They're way too aggresive. It's just not my scene. I'd rather chill out at a local pub full of steamboat captains recounting their oceanic adventures or be sipping wine with my lady overlooking a park filled with frolicking puppies.

It's sad. In fact it's devastating. I blame most of it on Sabrina. She is constantly telling me how old I am. Pointing out my grey hairs or my grey pubes. I know it's all in fun, but in a wierd way it's brought age into my conciousness. I am begginning to now see myself for what I really am...a 33 year old. Yikes. Crows feet and all. I think I liked life a little more when I was oblivious.

Nov 11 2010

I'm getting pretty good at bathing in freezing cold rivers.

I love when people are nice for no reason. Tonight we went to chill in some hot tubs. They're really cool Japanese style wood barrels. Real fancy like. Upon arrival the owner of the place upgraded us to the VIP suite life. Hot tub, lakeside view, and sauna. Didn't expect that to happen. In a place like NZ where everything you do is at least $50, it was nice to get a deal for once. We paid $60 for what should of cost $135. They say theres no price for kindness, I say there is...its about $75.

Nov 10 2010

You know how they say New Zealand is the untouched version of Earth? No? Well they do. Ive heard them say it more than once. Anyhow. It is. And Mt cook and the surrounding areas are proof of that. Picturesque landscapes that are so insane they look photoshopped. Everywhere you turn greens brighter than any youve ever seen burn the cornia of your eyes. Blues so blue it makes you want to shove a crayola crayon into your brain. The colors are just jaw dropping.

This is the land of Lord of the Rings, and every single step you take feels like you're walking through a movie set. I can't explain exactly how beautiful this place is, but I will tell you if this is indeed middle earth I completely understand why those hobbits and wizards went after each other to defend it.

This morning I took a bath in the absolutely frrezing waters of Lake Tekapo. I think my heart stopped beating for a few seconds.

Then I went on a hike up to the observatory where I was supposed to check out stars the night before. The hike was incredible. Some of the most gorgeous scenery I've ever seen. At the top I met a guy from Phoenix working at the observatory cafe. I noticed he was wearing a Phillips Exeter hat. I asked if he had gone to school there, and then proceeded to tell him why even though I got accepted to the school I chose not to attend ( something having to do with the student tour guide taking me to the campus bridge and informing me that the bridge is where most Exeter students went to kill themselves.). I chose Larenceville after that because it had no bridges.

The walk down from the observatory was unexplainable. Even though there was a designated path it felt like Sabrina and I were walking through fields completely alone. Exploring the earth as if we were the only people alive. Hills fell over each other all greener than the next. The water of Lake Tekapo a neon blue, that if you havent seen it with your own eyes you would never believe it existed. Spaces so open an untouched by man that I kept repeating, 'this is how the earth was before we ruined it.' Absolute perfection.

At around 9pm I left for my second attempt at star gazing. This one was a success and I found that where I had turned around the night before was literally steps from the office. I took the van ride up the mountain and arrived at the observatory in complete dark. The sky was full with more stars than I had ever seen before. I spent most of the night nerding it up with the head astronomer asking questions I'm sure my 8 year old nephew knows the answers to but which completely melt my brain out of my ears. Take for instance, did you know that the closest planet to us at this time of year is Jupiter? And if you took a flight in a commercial airliner to Jupiter it would take you 19 years? Did you also know there are more stars in the galaxy than grains of sand on the earth? Or that when we look at stars in the sky we are looking at them in the past because they are so far away from earth that the light take sometimes 10's of millions of years to get to earth? Some stars we see in the night sky might, at their actual source in the galaxy, not exist anymore. Isnt that fucking insane!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I learned alot about the galaxy, stars, and space last night but I think I learned alot more about myself. I a fucking huge dork...and I'm ok with that.

Day 4 Nov 6 2010

Last night was quite a failure. I was supposed to hike 15 mintues down the main highway to the Earth and Sky office where I'd meet up with a bunch of other dorks to go star gazing. My bus was sxheduled to leave at 11:30pm (it stays light here until after 9pm). I stepped outside my van and instantly my foot was frozen. next my leg and then my entire body. It had to be about 139 degrees below zero outside. No joke.

Did I let that stop me? Sort of. I slowly walked down the road in the pitch dark, wondering if this was all worth it. I walked for what seemed an hour and probably was really only 15 minutes and decided I was freezing and lost. I turned around and went back to bed in my camper. I watched the stars outside my window while covered in a down blanket. To infinity and beyond!

Day 2 - Nov 5 2010

Yesterday was gorgeous. Sun so bright it almost hurt to look at it.

Today its rainy and freezing.

But we have our new van! And it works! Brakes and all.

We head off from Christchurch at 11am. Make a bee line for our campsite 150 k away in Geraldine. Car drives great even in the downpour that lasts our entire drive.

We pull up to our campsite around 3pm. It's awesome. Towering hills surround the valley we camp in. A river runs alongside the entire camp ground. Sheep and cows cover the hills
. We pull up right next to the river. We're the only people in the campsite. We have all of New Zealand to ourselves.


Have I mentioned how awesome this is?

Day 1 - Nov 4 2010

Left Christchurch today around 10am and headed for Akaroa.

1pm- stopped for our first meal. Pulled the van right up to the beach, popped some chairs in the sand, and ate lunch with huge smiles on our face. We laughed when we thought about our friends working. We're a bunch of assholes.

2pm- Had our first key loss panic attack. They were in the door.

2:05pm- almost ran over a cyclist. Driving on the left side of the road is going to take some getting used to.

2:10- took our first wrong turn. Had to go backwards down a one way street on the top of a mountain. No guard rails. 500000 feet drop off to sudden death.


4pm- 20k from where we started our trip, we have our first breakdown. Rear left wheel sounds like its grinding steel. We pull over and call road side assistance. We wait an hour, but waiting in a van with a bed and food sure beats waiting in a broken down car. This life aint so bad.

Road side assistance arrives, jacks up the van, pulls the tire off, and then the brake...a metal rod falls to the ground. Im no mechanic but I figure that aint good. Turns out one of the rods that holds the brake pads in alignment had broken off and was flipping around in the wheel as we drove. Sweet.

Needless to say Purple Lava needs to go back to the shop...in Christchurch...the place we just left from.

We load the van on the flat bed and head back into town.

Escape informs us that they will have a new van for us tomorrow morning. Tonight theyll be paying for our hotel, meals, and beers, and will be further discounting the already amazingly discounted price they intially gave us. They are heroes.
We check into a hotel we otherwise couldnt have afforded and head to sleep excited for the trip to begin...again.

Those guys living in their vans down on Venice beach arent homeless, they're geniuses!

Our plan for New Zealand has always been to rent a camper van and travel the two islands for a few months. I figured we'd rent your traditional camper can, complete with bathroom, kitchen, tv, the whole nine. We probably would have done that if the people we were trying to rent said camper from weren't complete assholes. Always having a backup plan, Sabrina and I headed over to Esape campers. And the rest is history.

Escape is awesome. I mean from the second we walked into their Auckland warehouse we knew these were the campers we were going to be living out of for the next 2 months. I should say first off they arent really campers. Theyre vans. Retro fitted to be basic campers. The back seats have been removed and in its place sits a table and two couches that turn into a bed. The back is modified to contain a small burner, sink, and cabinet storage space. The van comes with all the fixins, like comforters, sheets, dishes, kitchen utensils, coolers, chairs, table, nav device, etc. Its pretty much the balls. Best of all, the outside has been totally repainted by some of Aucklands most talented graphitti artists! These vans simply rock.

Not only are the vans awesome, the people who rent the vans are awesome x 10. They were so welcoming. So accommodating and so incredibly helpful, that it makes you want to rent from them.

So after a few days of drinking and sight seeing we were off on our 2 month van tour of New Zealand. The following blog enteries will serve as the trip log. See ya!

Singapore I love you...

But I can't afford you.