It's funny how wrong your imagination can be sometimes. Reading Shantaram I was filled with anticipation of the the day I'd walk through the doors of Leopolds. For those who havent read the book ( and you should ), Leopolds is the bar where the main characters of the book would meet, chat, divise crimes, drink until they couldn't see, etc. The way the author described it seemed mythical. My mind constructed marbled colums stretching to the sky. A wide main hall where the most dangerous men and women met daily to discuss the crime of the day. A floor of sand stained in sweat, blood, and tears. Above all I was certain that the bar was off the beaten path. Down some sketchy stretch of Indian alleyway where the chance of you making it out alive was at least no better than 30%. I was certain this was the real deal. A bar I was certainly not tough enough to visit. A place that would give me instant street cred. I had fantasies that I would sit down, order a drink, and start small talk with a local next to me who just so happens to be an international drug smuggler and was in the market for a fresh faced american to help him smuggle drugs and guns all over the world and share in the millions and millions of dollars that came with such work.
I could not have been further from the reality of Leopolds.
Be it the fame that the bar has gained from Shantaram or the 30 years that has passed since it was written, the bar more resembles a Hard Rock Cafe than a watering hole for India's most corrupt residents. The walls are plastered with Elvis paintings and 'What I really learned in college' beer posters. The floor is filled with more middle aged moms and dads on vacation then wild gun runners. The menu features Jalepeno Poppers. And perhaps worst of all I didn't have to put my life on the line navigating down a dark alley to get there. Nope. Leopolds is located on the main drag in Mumbai, directly across from a Benneton. I ask you, What's so dangerous about an overpriced plad pencil skirt?
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Hitting the wall
It was bound to happen. Traveling for this long will do that to you. I've reached maximum burnout. Every temple looks the same. Every church, fort, mountain, pile of cow poop, child, hostel, camel, etc looks exactly the same. I feel like I'm just floating through India right now, going from site to site with camera in hand collecting photos. I'm worried I'm losing perspective on the whole trip. I'm worried I've started to take things for granted.
So what to do?
I think the answer is not so much the travel as is where we have been traveling. For the most part Africa slums looks alot like Indian ones. City streets in Cairo look alot like those in Nairobi. Africa, India, and Egypt I think just might be too similar...and we've been in those places for almost 6 months. Thats a long time of seeing the same type of stuff.
We need a change. Need to renergize this trip. Go somewhere completely different from where we've been traveling. So instead of ending in New Zealand, we've decided to go there next! I'm really excited and think this is the punch in the arm this trip needs. We'll be trading slums, mud, trash, and poverty for picturesque mountains, white water rafting, wine tasting, and western luxuries.
This is the aspect of the trip I love most. We really live in a constant state of where do we want to go today? As long as there's money in the bank account, that question always has countless answers. Onward and upward!!!!
So what to do?
I think the answer is not so much the travel as is where we have been traveling. For the most part Africa slums looks alot like Indian ones. City streets in Cairo look alot like those in Nairobi. Africa, India, and Egypt I think just might be too similar...and we've been in those places for almost 6 months. Thats a long time of seeing the same type of stuff.
We need a change. Need to renergize this trip. Go somewhere completely different from where we've been traveling. So instead of ending in New Zealand, we've decided to go there next! I'm really excited and think this is the punch in the arm this trip needs. We'll be trading slums, mud, trash, and poverty for picturesque mountains, white water rafting, wine tasting, and western luxuries.
This is the aspect of the trip I love most. We really live in a constant state of where do we want to go today? As long as there's money in the bank account, that question always has countless answers. Onward and upward!!!!
Friday, September 10, 2010
I could work at the Onion
After years of having it up to there, Jan River of Boise Idaho, declares she's finally had it up to here.
German astronomer Slev Guten retires at the age of 72 after successfully counting all of his lucky stars.
French scientists optomistic the whirly bird will soon be removed from the endangered species list.
German astronomer Slev Guten retires at the age of 72 after successfully counting all of his lucky stars.
French scientists optomistic the whirly bird will soon be removed from the endangered species list.
C+C Music Factory never sweat like this before.
Holy mother of God. Kids put your swim suits on we're going for a walk around India. It's humid here. Like real humid. Is it possible for a place to be more than 100% humidity because i think Inidia might be checking in around 400%. We just got back from a leisurely stroll around Mandawa and we look as if we fell into a moat. Covered in sweat. I mean like so much so our skin has been replaced with sweat.
I grew up in Florida. Played baseball in the middle of the summer. Wore jeans all year long. So anytime anyone ever talks to me about humidty i laugh in their face and then punch them in the gut for good measure. I know humidity. I could write twelve soaked novels about it. Dont tell me about humidity because you dont know nothing and I dont like your tone. Unless of course if you're India, because the shit is so thick here you can almost walk on top of it.
I'm going to go dry off now.
I grew up in Florida. Played baseball in the middle of the summer. Wore jeans all year long. So anytime anyone ever talks to me about humidty i laugh in their face and then punch them in the gut for good measure. I know humidity. I could write twelve soaked novels about it. Dont tell me about humidity because you dont know nothing and I dont like your tone. Unless of course if you're India, because the shit is so thick here you can almost walk on top of it.
I'm going to go dry off now.
Dear Egypt it's not me it's you.
It may seem like I've been attacking Egypt alot so far in my blog and it would seem that way because its probably true. What started as a passionate love affair ended with me sneaking out the window while Egypt slept to try and find some strange. Now that I have a new country to compare Egypt to, the divide in our relationship is bound to grow even bigger.
I found myself always wondering where common sense was in Egypt. Why places that should be open were closed. Why people charged so much more for things then they should. Why people always took the long way to get some where, why no one stayed in their lanes while driving, why lanes didnt exist at all, why people held onto their babies while riding on the bakck of motorcycles without helmets. Nothing seemed to make sense. Common sense was no where to be found. In a city as modern as Cairo, it seemed like technology had evolved but that the people hadn't.
How would Inida compare? We had heard the horror stories. Inida is hell on earth. Hell on earth would actually be a 5 star hotel compared to India. Its beyond crowded. Its beyond dirty. Its beyond your wildest dreams/nightmares. After 4 days of stomping around in mud covered shit and weaving our way through the rain soaked population I can say that for the most part these advance warnings are pretty accurate. It is crowded. It's beyond dirty. It's heart wrenching at times. BUT. And I put this in all caps for a reason, despite the dirt, and the garbage, and the beggars, there lives a common courtesy and an adherence to reason that I am floored (and incredibly greatful) to see.
Stuff makes sense here, and more importantly, PEOPLE ARE NICE AND INCREDIBLY HELPFUL. People smile, even when walking in a downpour. They don't look at you like you're an alien. They dont give you the impression that they want you out of their country. They are welcoming. They are kind. They are calm. They are quiet. I think they realize that life can be lived without screaming, or yelling, or panicing. It's a welcome change from the madness that was Cairo.
Who knows maybe a few weeks in India will make me feel the same way, but as for now I'm just soaking up the good stuff and excited to see what this country has in store.
I found myself always wondering where common sense was in Egypt. Why places that should be open were closed. Why people charged so much more for things then they should. Why people always took the long way to get some where, why no one stayed in their lanes while driving, why lanes didnt exist at all, why people held onto their babies while riding on the bakck of motorcycles without helmets. Nothing seemed to make sense. Common sense was no where to be found. In a city as modern as Cairo, it seemed like technology had evolved but that the people hadn't.
How would Inida compare? We had heard the horror stories. Inida is hell on earth. Hell on earth would actually be a 5 star hotel compared to India. Its beyond crowded. Its beyond dirty. Its beyond your wildest dreams/nightmares. After 4 days of stomping around in mud covered shit and weaving our way through the rain soaked population I can say that for the most part these advance warnings are pretty accurate. It is crowded. It's beyond dirty. It's heart wrenching at times. BUT. And I put this in all caps for a reason, despite the dirt, and the garbage, and the beggars, there lives a common courtesy and an adherence to reason that I am floored (and incredibly greatful) to see.
Stuff makes sense here, and more importantly, PEOPLE ARE NICE AND INCREDIBLY HELPFUL. People smile, even when walking in a downpour. They don't look at you like you're an alien. They dont give you the impression that they want you out of their country. They are welcoming. They are kind. They are calm. They are quiet. I think they realize that life can be lived without screaming, or yelling, or panicing. It's a welcome change from the madness that was Cairo.
Who knows maybe a few weeks in India will make me feel the same way, but as for now I'm just soaking up the good stuff and excited to see what this country has in store.
How is it in the age of so much readily accessable information the world is more misinformed than ever before?
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Thank God the wait is over
IT'S HURRICANE SEASON BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Keep on moving
We've realized that staying in motion is essential. On a trip this long you have to keep moving. Stay in some place to long and the luster begins to wear off. You start to see that most places are like any place. Same probems. Same annoyances. Same boring Mondays.
Keep moving, and everyday is like Christmas morning.
Keep moving, and everyday is like Christmas morning.
Mini skirts and 3000 year old temples
People are utterly clueless. That's what I've learned so far on this trip. Clueless or Oblivious. You choose.
Take for instance the tourist who shows up to hike Mt Sinai at 3 in the morning dressed as if she about to stroll around the mall for a few hours. Purse. Check. Fashionable flip flops. Check. Make up. Check. Lack of any clue what so ever. Double check.
Or my favorite. The foreign tourist strolling through the streets, mosques, pyramids, and ruins of egypt wearing nothing more then a bikini top and a micro mini skirt. Paris Hilton attitude. Check. Over sized sunglasses. Check. Mini skirt that shows of your ass clevage. Check. Bikini top barely holding in your surgically enhanced tits. Check. Make up. Check.
It blows me a way that not once do these people think about THE COUNTRY THEY ARE VISITING! They are guests! In someone else's country, and in a place as conservative and religious as Egypt, you might want to open your $50 guide book and learn a little about it before you step off the tour bus.
It just makes me realize how, for the most part, people of the world are oblivious to one another. That makes me sad... but so do homeless kittens with teary eyes.
Take for instance the tourist who shows up to hike Mt Sinai at 3 in the morning dressed as if she about to stroll around the mall for a few hours. Purse. Check. Fashionable flip flops. Check. Make up. Check. Lack of any clue what so ever. Double check.
Or my favorite. The foreign tourist strolling through the streets, mosques, pyramids, and ruins of egypt wearing nothing more then a bikini top and a micro mini skirt. Paris Hilton attitude. Check. Over sized sunglasses. Check. Mini skirt that shows of your ass clevage. Check. Bikini top barely holding in your surgically enhanced tits. Check. Make up. Check.
It blows me a way that not once do these people think about THE COUNTRY THEY ARE VISITING! They are guests! In someone else's country, and in a place as conservative and religious as Egypt, you might want to open your $50 guide book and learn a little about it before you step off the tour bus.
It just makes me realize how, for the most part, people of the world are oblivious to one another. That makes me sad... but so do homeless kittens with teary eyes.
A typical day in Egypt
Getting anything done in Egypt is next to impossible. Even the simplest things.
Lets take checking into a hotel that offers internet. You check in. Ask for the password and they inform you that they the internet isn't working. You ask "but you told me you have internet", the response, "you didnt ask if it was working."
What?! I would just assume...
'the truth...we dont have internet. But I have seen the internet I can tell you about it'
"Tell me about it!"
'10 pounds'
"10 pounds to tell me about the internet?! Are you nuts?"
'You want nuts? No nuts. Store down the street.'
"What?!"
'Nuts on sale wednesday. Only wednesday. From 7-7:05.'
"They sell nuts for 5 minutes?"
'Yes but not during Ramadan. And not in December. January. Or April."
"ok"
'Goto store. It closed now but you wait for it to open'
"When will it open?."
'March. What is your name?'
"Reece"
'Chris?'
"Reece"
'Mike?'
"Yes Mike."
'Oh, we no sell internet or nuts to people named Mike.'
THE END
Lets take checking into a hotel that offers internet. You check in. Ask for the password and they inform you that they the internet isn't working. You ask "but you told me you have internet", the response, "you didnt ask if it was working."
What?! I would just assume...
'the truth...we dont have internet. But I have seen the internet I can tell you about it'
"Tell me about it!"
'10 pounds'
"10 pounds to tell me about the internet?! Are you nuts?"
'You want nuts? No nuts. Store down the street.'
"What?!"
'Nuts on sale wednesday. Only wednesday. From 7-7:05.'
"They sell nuts for 5 minutes?"
'Yes but not during Ramadan. And not in December. January. Or April."
"ok"
'Goto store. It closed now but you wait for it to open'
"When will it open?."
'March. What is your name?'
"Reece"
'Chris?'
"Reece"
'Mike?'
"Yes Mike."
'Oh, we no sell internet or nuts to people named Mike.'
THE END
People have always been assholes.
The wonder of ancient Egypt. The history. The architecutral triumphs. The 200 year old graffiti.
Seriously.
Walking through these great halls, I had a hard time deciding wether I was more impressed with the history that surrounded me or pissed off at the lack of respect many people over the years have shown these statues.
Look passed the thousand year old heiroglyphics and you see countless names scratched into the surface of every wall, statue, and tomb. 1878. 1876. 1890. Explorers filled with the triumph of discovering these tombs, quickly defaced them all by carving their names into them. And hundreds of years later, sunburned tourists from all parts of the globe contiuned the tradition. The great tombs of Egypt now resemble a bathroom stall at a turnpike rest stop.
Joe was here. Bob and Kathy 1989. Descarts 1890.
It's insane to me the level of ego the average human posseses. I wonder if any of these people stopped to think while they were carving hearts and puppy dog shapes into the faces of history; maybe this isn't a good idea. Maybe I'm a little less important than these things I've traveled to see. Maybe future generations could care less if 'Margret and Stan were here'. I doubt it. They were probably too busy thinking about getting back on the air conditioned bus after they finished marking their place in history.
I hate Margret and Stan.
Seriously.
Walking through these great halls, I had a hard time deciding wether I was more impressed with the history that surrounded me or pissed off at the lack of respect many people over the years have shown these statues.
Look passed the thousand year old heiroglyphics and you see countless names scratched into the surface of every wall, statue, and tomb. 1878. 1876. 1890. Explorers filled with the triumph of discovering these tombs, quickly defaced them all by carving their names into them. And hundreds of years later, sunburned tourists from all parts of the globe contiuned the tradition. The great tombs of Egypt now resemble a bathroom stall at a turnpike rest stop.
Joe was here. Bob and Kathy 1989. Descarts 1890.
It's insane to me the level of ego the average human posseses. I wonder if any of these people stopped to think while they were carving hearts and puppy dog shapes into the faces of history; maybe this isn't a good idea. Maybe I'm a little less important than these things I've traveled to see. Maybe future generations could care less if 'Margret and Stan were here'. I doubt it. They were probably too busy thinking about getting back on the air conditioned bus after they finished marking their place in history.
I hate Margret and Stan.
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