I'm done with this whole reading thing.

It's funny how wrong your imagination can be sometimes. Reading Shantaram I was filled with anticipation of the the day I'd walk through the doors of Leopolds. For those who havent read the book ( and you should ), Leopolds is the bar where the main characters of the book would meet, chat, divise crimes, drink until they couldn't see, etc. The way the author described it seemed mythical. My mind constructed marbled colums stretching to the sky. A wide main hall where the most dangerous men and women met daily to discuss the crime of the day. A floor of sand stained in sweat, blood, and tears. Above all I was certain that the bar was off the beaten path. Down some sketchy stretch of Indian alleyway where the chance of you making it out alive was at least no better than 30%. I was certain this was the real deal. A bar I was certainly not tough enough to visit. A place that would give me instant street cred. I had fantasies that I would sit down, order a drink, and start small talk with a local next to me who just so happens to be an international drug smuggler and was in the market for a fresh faced american to help him smuggle drugs and guns all over the world and share in the millions and millions of dollars that came with such work.

I could not have been further from the reality of Leopolds.

Be it the fame that the bar has gained from Shantaram or the 30 years that has passed since it was written, the bar more resembles a Hard Rock Cafe than a watering hole for India's most corrupt residents. The walls are plastered with Elvis paintings and 'What I really learned in college' beer posters. The floor is filled with more middle aged moms and dads on vacation then wild gun runners. The menu features Jalepeno Poppers. And perhaps worst of all I didn't have to put my life on the line navigating down a dark alley to get there. Nope. Leopolds is located on the main drag in Mumbai, directly across from a Benneton. I ask you, What's so dangerous about an overpriced plad pencil skirt?