Sunday, September 7, 2014

I think this parrot wants to kill me



There’s a parrot outside my door. He has fallen in love with my wife and I think he wants to kill me.
He sits all day outside our door waiting. Watching. Hoping I try to come outside. Every time I look out the window he’s sitting there. Starring. His stupid parrot eye locked on my every move.
He taunts me. “Come outside. I promise I won’t tear you to pieces. You can trust me.”
What I should do is charge outside and kick him in his stupid parrot head, but he knows I wont. He’s just a parrot and I’m a person.
So I sit inside. Listening to him breathe on the other side of the door.
Waiting. Watching.
Maybe I should just give him Sabrina. We’ve had a good run.


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