Share a coke and some roofies

Thanks to America I've turned into a gigantic pussy. I'm scared of everything. Terrorist. Dogs. Terrorists who own dogs. It's unbelievable. I won't go into Michael Moores whole theory on our government terrorizing us into submission, but i will say he makes a good point.

Take yesterday for example. We're sitting in a small street side restaraunt enjoying our lunch. Suddenly a stranger comes up to us with a fresh bottle of ice cold coke. He manages a few words in broken english. "where are you from". My mind takes a minute to compute what language hes speaking in and what language I should respond. I choose slurred english. Uhhhh English, I mean America. He then lights up "oh I studided in America!" as he places the bottle on our table and gives the universal sign "here, a gift for you." He leaves just as quickly as he came, saying to us as he parts "a gift from me, my country is very friendly."

Wow. What a nice guy. I mean who in America would do that? Offer up a free coke wanting nothing in...hold on wait a minute..I think he put drugs in it. He must have. Why else would he give us a coke? Its got some kind of mind erasing poison in it. Hes waiting for us to drink it and then he's going to jump us outside.Then he'll take us to his house and use us as sex slaves and not the good kind you see on the Playboy channel. Or maybe its some kind of weird foreign tradition. Maybe if I drink his offered coke he gets ownership of my kindneys. Or maybe I'm supposed to give him Sabrina in return. Thats got to be it. There's no way he could just be doing it out of the kindness of his heart.

So as we left the sidewalk cafe, an untouched bottle of Coke sat sweating in the afternoon heat on the cafe table.

Thanks alot President Bush, you've created a country of pansies.