You say Futbol I say Tomato

Last night i attended my first Brazilian soccer game and lived to tell the tale.
Was it fun? Yes. Was it more fun than watching an American football game? Nope, sorry Pele, it wasn't.

Here were the highlights.

From the moment we stepped on the train you could tell this was a different sport. Yes Carnival is going on at the same time and yes half the people on the train were probably wasted, but holy moses were they rowdy. The train was COMPLETELY packed. I mean like NY + SF subway packed. I think I might have actually been standing on a small child. He felt soft beneath my tired feet. Some how we managed to get on the right train, and off it, only losing a pair of sunglasses (which is better than our lives). A nice Brazilian took it upon himself to escort us from the crowded train, through the crowded station to the correct connecting train. Did I mention I saw a 60 year old woman throw an elbow towards Sabrinas face as she tried to exit the train. Shit be serious here.

So onto the stadium. It was huge and yes thats what she said. We searched around for scalped tickets. Ran into a fellow traveler we met several nights earlier at an irish bar, and he proceeded to kick us in the balls by telling us that the tickets he bought were 2 times the price we wanted to pay. Never one to focus on the negative, we wished them well and walked around the corner where we bought two tickets in the covered area (which is important because the non covered areas come with a complimentary golden shower from fans throwing their piss from above.) for half the price of his.

The game was fun. The fans were completely out of their minds. Shooting off fire works from their seats and singing the entire game. Quite a different scene from what Im used to ..ie Atlanta fans refusing to show up for Braves world series games, or Hurricane fans refusing to show up for anything...much like the team...oh burn yeah Im talking to you underachieving Hurricanes.

The score. I'll give you one guess what it was. Guess. Come on. Ill help. It had zeros in it. As in 0-0. The entire GAME! And people around the world wonder why Americans hate soccer. We were there for 3 hours and no one scored. I could see the same thing hanging out with my old partner Joe in Santa Monica on a sat night. GET IT JOE? Word play. Ha.

But seriously. Soccer is boring. The fans are awesome. The fireworks, dangerous and cool. But soccer. Eh. Whatever.

In the end, the game came down to a shoot out. Sabrina was correct when asking, "three hours of nothing and it comes down to this? Why didnt they do this from the begginning?" Indeed, my well endowed friend, why indeed.

The Negative:

It was soccer.

Oh and did I mention...THERE WAS NO ALCOHOL ALLOWED OR SOLD IN THE STADIUM!!!! As in completely dry. Nothing. Nada. No alcohol.

Can you believe this?

So let me get this straight. I'm supposed to sit through 3 hours of guys running back and forth across a field, without a damn point scored...without alcohol?

I hardly do anything without alcohol..I'm serious..I was doing my laundry last week wasted and i passed out in the laundry basket for half the day.

Un-bee-lievable.

In the end it was a really great experience, and I had a blast. I swear I had a great time and would totally do it again. Next time, I'll mainline some heroin before I walk through the turnstiles. Either that or down a six pack of Zima.

Goooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllllllll!!!!!!!!!!