Thursday, July 24, 2014

We back.

It’s 10:16 the night before we set out for another adventure. A few things are the same. We’re both following our hearts and making that great step out into the unknown. We’re both hoping not to fall flat on our faces. We both are filled with so much excitement we feel as though we might puke on each other at any given moment. I quit a job that I love, again. We’re leaving friends we have grown closer to, and shared many amazing nights, weekends, and hungover Breaking Bad marathons with. And of course we have the upmost faith that the highs and lows of the next few months to a year will bring us closer, make us stronger, and help us become better people in general.

A few things are different this time. I’m older. Much older. I’m also married. Oh and I have a fucking awesome tattoo that I got at the end of the last trip to remind me to do the very thing I’m about to do. 

This time our goal is to land jobs in Europe…so there we have a goal. It’s actually a dream we both shared independently before we ever met. So we’re putting it out into the universe and on electronic paper. AT THE END OF OUR TRAVELS WE WILL BOTH BE GETTING JOBS IN ADVERTISING (IF THAT’S WHAT SABRINA WANTS TO DO, I KNOW I SURE DO) THUS FUFILLING A LIFE LONG DREAM.

The other thing that’s different, and that I also want to write down, is I’m terrified. There I said it. I’m terrified that I left my amazing job. Terrified that I’m leaving this amazing apartment that we have been blessed with. Terrified of money going out and not coming in. Of no more Breaking Bad couch marathons. Missing our friends. Missing our families. Going to strange places. Jumping into who the hell knows what. Terrified that I’m terrified. WHEN I’VE ALREADY DONE THIS!

But this is good. This is where I need to be. We swore on our last trip we would never let fear make decisions for us. We agreed that fear is the body/brains way of telling you you’re alive. You’re doing something different. We convinced ourselves that fear is a good thing. Well I have a lot of it right now, but I’m embracing it. Packing that fear up into my new backpack and hitting the road, to find whatever the hell I’m supposed to find. I can’t wait. I’m scared shitless.

 A SIDE NOTE: When I was writing this I started thinking of my sister Meghan. A couple years back she made a similar decision. She identified her goals, envisioning what she wanted her life to be like. She decided she wanted to move to London and marry a British guy. So she did it. ALONE. Packed up her shit in NY and moved to London. Got a temporary position at Burberry filling in for someone who was on maternity leave. A couple years later she is rocking the shit out of her job and flying all over the planet doing fashion stuff…oh and she met a rad British guy who she’ll be marrying in oct. It makes me unbelievable proud that my little sister took life by the nuts like that and made her dreams happen. It also makes me laugh that here I am shitting myself on my couch in Venice, thinking about doing a similar thing, when I’m not doing it alone. I’m doing it with my wife. So what, my sister has bigger balls than me. I can throw a tighter spiral.

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