Thursday, January 28, 2010

Beer Review numero 2: Bolivia

It's hard to imagine beer sucking. I mean, it's done so much for me in my life. It's always there for me when I need a friend to talk to or one that will make me vomit on my shoes.

I guess in traveling you're bound to find everything, and on this stint of our beer journey I found the worst beer I've ever had. That's right, Bolivia will now be known worldwide as having poor beer and frighteningly slow internet.

Was it the WORST beer I've ever had? No. I've tasted worse. What made this beer so bad was that it didn't seem to be trying. You know like the fat son of a hall of fame football player who just sits on the couch all day watching cop dramas and eating his belly button lint, this beer was a monumental underachiever.
Saying it tasted like water would be doing a diservice to the fine bottled waters here.

So here it is. Bolivia's not so great pee water beers.


Huari Pilsener:

The most memorable thing about this beer is that it seem to have a doppleganger. There was another beer hanging around Bolivia, that had the exact same label but had a different name. Was this Huari's evil twin? Was there a printing error? Was the altitude so strong I was hallucinating?

Not sure, but regardless of what label came on this beer, in the end, it didnt matter. Call it God's Golden Nipple Nectar for all I care. It just wouldn't matter.
This beer was terrible. No flavor what so ever. Never cold. And always came with a thick, I mean thick head of foam that would never go away. It was like dishwashing liquid.

I probably could make a better beer in the shower using shampoo, warm water, and the pubes that get stuck to the soap.



Bock:

Can something be good just because everything you compare it to is absolute horse shit? Well if so, then this was the best beer in Bolivia.
Again, no flavor found here. A weird never ending foam hat, hovering over the bland beer below, and worst of all barely enough alcohol to get an eleven year old drunk.
So very dissapointing.



Well, there you have it. Bolivia, in a few short paragraphs. What did we learn today? That when you're a lazy beer maker who cant be bothered to try and make a beer that tastes somewhat like beer, the world will end up hating you.

Lesson learned.

Next up, Argentina. Home of Wine, cows, dead cows, cooked cows, more wine, and maybe just maybe some good beer.

Salud.

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